Ahem. I just want to point out that the "debacle" does not begin where the wife decided to begin it. Nor, can I state it ends where she ended it. This being said, here is the real story.
First, let us start the evening with a wonderful fatherly idea from the night before. I was in a bad mood, and determined that our family should go for good ice cream. On the way, every member of my family gained/lost/regained (and in some cases, re-lost) their ice cream. In the end, we all got the goods, but the two oldest were kinda touch and go for a while.
Tonight, the wife and oldest begin picking on me mercilously. This incited a bout of tickle torture, in which I won. At the end of this, is where the wife's story begins. She leaves out that the child was eating out of the carton. She leaves out that no one even thought of offering me any ice cream (as any respectable person would offer another). She leaves out that I rummage through the freezer, to find another suitable carton of ice cream to partake in, but the only readable part of the container is the top. The lid which states clearly the container is filled with cookies and cream, only to open it to plain vanilla. Now, vanilla is fine, but it is no cookies and cream. This leaves me with just chocolate yogurt...well, that, or stealing the sneaky neighbor child's ice cream. Knowing me as you all do, you know what I did...Of course I took the neighbor kid's. I mean, it isn't like that one lives here and can whine to me about it for more than a night. Alas, the wife did not allow that to stand up.
So, here I am back to the yogurt. And as I scoop out my yogurt, the oldest comes over begging for me to scoop. This wonderful, sweet child, who wouldn't even offer me any of the last tidbits. And this puts me into my ice cream rant. A rant so vile that it caused the wife to pee. And almost cost me a child who thought that eating nearly full container of yogurt from the carton would be a good idea...
Welcome to my life. This, is why ice cream is my favorite. It brings the family together - not always in a good way, but always, together.