Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Life...

So, I'm not sure whether to categorize the various things as being good or bad...they are just life. Basically, I've been running a gamut of emotions, while at the same time, truly enjoying things and being in a very good place in life right now - basically, very happy. So, what are these "various things" which seem very strangely inconsistent? Well, sit right back and let me tell you... My kids: They are great and I couldn't be more proud of each of them...however, the oldest will graduate undergrad later this year, the middle will graduate high school and has some big plans for college and college career. Youngest is very bright and seems to be very happy with his high school tenure so far. He's also going to move to Junior year soon, so he too doesn't have too much time left in school and at home. So, all seems very good, right? The downside is I already miss them. ALL of them. It isn't that I'm not seeing them enough, (I actually am seeing them MORE than I have been able to do the last few years); it's all that frankly, I know I'm going to miss all the little things that happen daily now and I'm already beginning to mourn their loss. Work: Started a new job fairly recently. Things are good and I see a bright future both with this place and personally. I'm truly nervous and excited about the things I see coming up! Downside? Things are also very slow moving, but I can already tell that when they need to move, they will need to fly (which can be very exhausting). Money: I do fine. But, I'm still behind. Not really a spending issue, but not something that makes me happy. Just not the best idea to truly make enough that I should be doing well and being comfortable, yet still not be. In the end, this area is probably my most depressing, especially since I tend to spend to help with it. Love: Ah love. Love life is always up and down. Still weird for me to be "dating" since up until a few years ago, I didn't date and hadn't dated since I was 19. Even then, I only dated a grand total of 3 years. So, it is strange. I meet nice people and have great times, but can't seem to find that right match...and I really don't want to be dating. I want a relationship. I want something grounded. I know it'll happen, but my marriage is still my only long term relationship. On top of that, this spinning cycle makes me think of the few women who I truly felt something long term could have been in the cards, and the timing then was just off. So, now what? It really doesn't pay for either of us to revisit those roads, but again, I don't want to keep feeling like I have a revolving door. In the end, I KNOW these things are all as good as they can be. In general, these things are all moving in positive directions. But, as anyone with depression will tell you, there's always something...