Tuesday, August 28, 2007

And the beat goes on...

Me: I love you kid.
Oldest: No, I love you.
Me: I don't care what you say, I love you...
Oldest: (grunts) Noooo. I love you...
Me: Quit it now dang it. I love you, so just leave it alone...(raising voice)
Oldest: (whining now) You're ruining my life...I love you. (door slams)

Yep, that there's some good ol love for ya...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

School Daze...

Middle: ...and so, if we leave our chair out, we get a mark out.
Me: Why is that?
Middle: Because the teachers wear open toed shoes and get irritated when they trip over the chairs.
Me: But your main teacher is so short, she should be able to see the chairs. Why is it your problem when she can't?

Oldest laughs raucously

Middle: But the other teacher is tall and he has issues with the chairs too...
Me: True. But because he's so tall, I'm sure he trips over children too. Do you get in trouble when he trips over you?

Oldest looses control and can't stop laughing

Methinks the oldest is taking too many hard drugs as a result of the wisdom teeth removal. All is well, and the child is back to school now too, and didn't even have a bruise to show for it all...stinker.

Vick Pleads Guilty...

Does this truly surprise anyone? Seriously? So, now the question comes down to how severely will he be disciplined by the league? Assuming the government gives Vick 3 years (which I think is not going to happen - I'm looking for 3 months with good behavior), what does the league do? You know the NFL is looking for a harsh penalty so their discipline doesn't have to actually deal with this. Vick was the face of the NFL.

Goodell has an issue here. If he slaps Vick on the wrist (primarily time served assuming actual jail time), what message does that send the league? If, on the other hand, he throws the book at Vick and bans him for life, what does that say about the offenders (sexual, drunken driving, etc.) that are in the league?

Personally, if sports leagues want to clean up, stop offering multiple chances. Players like Pacman Jones don't deserve it. Coaches like Detroit's naked Wendy's late meal orderer, don't deserve it. Somehow, media and fans believe that players deserve breaks. To me, they've already earned their breaks - that would be why they are able to sign deals worth 10 years and $130 million dollars plus lucrative endorsements worth millions as well (hundreds of millions in Vick's case). When they choose to throw that all away, or even risk doing so, to me, that is their choice. Until leagues show this is what will happen consistently, you'll have felons in these leagues. You'll have guns being fired at strip clubs at all hours, you'll have these kids, doing whatever pleases them, because they believe they deserve the priveledge. C'mon, do we really need another Randy Moss riding on the parking meter reader's car - let alone something more serious like Vick showing us he loves dogs?

Friday, August 03, 2007

Driving Lessons: To Give or To Receive?

My sister, of the infamous "let's get the brother's truck stuck in my backyard over a submerged beach ball" did it again. Yesterday, she and the wife went for a ride on the North Carolina dunes, when she managed to get a FOUR WHEEL DRIVE vehicle STUCK (rumors say there was another beach ball). So, what do the women do? They get out, adjust shirts for maximum cleavage, and then get a flag a local to stop, break two tow straps, and another local to stop and to free them. At this point, she realizes she needs gas and almost ran out ON THE DUNES...BEFORE getting stuck (several miles from the nearest paved road). Of course, she didn't turn the car off during her stuck truck woes.

So what does she do for a encore? Attempt to run over a road median (albeit a small one) while my wife screams incoherantly.

The children, not getting the bribe they went after, spilled all in about 1 second of hitting the door (while the wives nearly peed their pants while covertly listening downstairs). Eventually, they were found because they couldn't stop giggling.

So, do you give or receive driving lessons?

Biggest Impressions from Vacation...

-Picnic tables don't work well with everyone sitting on the same side.

-Kids spent in excess of $150 of their own money (neice and nephew included): not all of them had purchased anything to do with the trip, and most had only purchased one small thing to do with the trip.

-When going to the beach, don't forget your swimsuit...

-When staying at the beach, use sun tan lotion more than once per day...

-Drink lots, but maybe in more moderation next time...(final tally - 3 fifths, two gallons a bottle of wine, and 4 beers)

-Cameras stink. Both ours and my sisters cameras had technical difficulties this week. Ours, the batteries died. When we got new batteries, we created some awesome pictures, but deleted them before getting them properly downloaded due to technical difficulties. (Like, not having batteries in the first place). My sisters: card filled up and was occassionally shutting off sporadically.

-"Ice Cube Difficulties" can be hazardous people. Avoid at all costs.

-It was a wonderful vacation spent with family. We had a great time and it has been a long time since our family has been relaxed like this.

-No one was eaten by shark ala "Jaws". I say that makes things successful.

More Vacation Sayings...

Ashley: Hmmm. You're kinda growley. Do you need a tide stick for your shirt?

Oldest: Aunt Ann wore her bling in the ocean, breaking all of her shark papers...

Oldest: Ewwww. There are fish in here... (talking about the ocean)

I'm concerned about the one in pink PMS'ing. That one, if I don't give chocolate she's going to gnaw my arm off...
HEY!!!
Damn! She can hear all of a sudden...

Mom: We need a splaying field...(after several coctails...)

We're not counting your cracks...(talking about dice caught on the picnic table)
You will count my cracks...(NOT talking about the dice)

Don't insult me and then play with my privates...(as these became the "lucky" rub)

I'm Guatamalon HOT...said with accent)

You snot on this one and ear shit on that one...so, which you gonna use (talking about hands...this creates drunken laughter, which results in...)
WE HAVE MILK!!! Yeah baby, we have milk!!!


Has he actually written anything down?
Are you kidding? He's like a court reporter...
He's like Monica Lewinski keeping dresses...

Matt Lauer is NOT cooler than me...

I don't mean to piss on your parade, but come back to reality vacation boy...

I'm sure there's more, however, this is what I have for now...