Saturday, April 30, 2005

It's raining, it's pouring...

And that means NO SOCCER!!!! It'll be nice to have a day to deal with other things. I love watching the kids play soccer, but every now and then we need to have a break. So, without further ado...let it rain, let it rain, LET IT RAIN!!!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The Joy of Being a Kid...

We gathered a new critter at the homestead this week. The youngest decided we needed a caterpillar. As of today, the critter has been contained in a margarita bucket with the same bit of grass for 2.5 days (must have reminded at LEAST 4 times today to feed the thing new grass and new water). So, later in the day I use the facilities, to find the hand towel wrapped in grass; at first I wondered why we had a small bush on the counter. I was very proud that I finally had been listened to and that the critter had been fed. Fast forward two hours... The child then informs his parents he didn't actually FEED the critter, he watered the old stuff (waste not, want not). At this point, the mother figure asks if she can do that to macaroni and cheese from now on....hmmmm...NOOOOOO.

So, upon reflection, I mentioned that maybe it's time for the critter to be let go. Yeah, that went over well. And this is the child we were thinking about getting a real pet...Nope, not happening yet.

Monday, April 25, 2005

There are days...

When I feel like I'll be getting one of these letters. If nothing else, I'm sure I've had teachers create the letter even if I did convince them not to send it...

Thursday, April 21, 2005

How's that spelled...?

While reviewing the youngest's latest batch of schoolwork:

ME: Ummm, how do you spell "lion" (on the paper as "liyon")?
Youngest: Uhhh, like that isn't it?
ME: Nope, but what I really don't get is this: Where is the story at that you are answering these questions?
Youngest: Up above in the paper
ME: And so the lion in question is spelled correctly in the story...right?
Youngest: Umm, yeah.
ME: So why'd you misspell the word then?
Youngest: Umm, I don't know. (then runs away as if I'm going to beat the child for it)

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Clearing thy name...

Not sure which post got this goose's gander, but here goes...

Dear sir or madam,
After reading your "blog," I feel the need to clear my name and
clarify something to you regarding the myself being to blame for
your son's focus on heinous bodily functions. Throughout the
centuries, man has flatulated and defecated. Since the dawn of
time, young male offspring have been infatuated with these bodily
functions. We see proof of this in the annals of history: The
Venus de Milo lost her arms after repeatedly smacking her children
in the head for "potty talk". Bethoven was not born deaf, but lost
his hearing after his mother smacked him in the head just a trifle
too hard. So you see, as long as there have been children to be
infatuated with farting and pooping, there have been mothers to
smack them.

In conclusion, your son is completely normal, at least in this
instance. And, I, therefore have nothing to do with this
infatuation of his on bodily functions. I eagerly await an apology,
and perhaps a gift certificate to Damon's STeak house - they have
those delicious little spring rolls. WHy so they call them spring
rolls? There are no springs in them at all, hmm.

Scott Michael Gray

Next time Mr. Esquire, you might just want to use the comment section - I'll still make a point of picking on you but at least I won't have to cut/paste the email...

Sunday, April 10, 2005

The good child...

This weekend, we had a lot planned. The wife wanted me to mulch her gardens (my only contribution to outdoor beautification besides mowing and such), needed to pay bills and some other menial type errands. However, none of this fit into the good child's plans. Nope, she wanted a new home for her rat. (For those that don't know about the rat, it actually is very sweet and friendly...but a long story) She was so gung ho she was offering to pay a good portion of the new home. Unfortunately, she knew we couldn't go until we had these other chores done. So, rather than whine and complain (been there, done that), she pitched in to help out.

I'm now trying to figure out how to get all the kids to help out with the chores around the house like that. She threw mulch, got me drinks during paying bills, and generally just ran around all day being very helpful. So, maybe she'll get the new cage next week... ;)

Girl Talk...

Oh to be young again. Overheard snippet between couple of young girls:

Girl 1: Yeah, and it was all bloody and stuff...I thought it was gonna die...
Girl 2: Really?
Girl 1: No, but it was really messed up; no blood though...

and later...

Girl 2: I wish I was a dog. They've got the life...
Girl 1: Ohhh, I want to be an ant...They think everything is SOOOO big...
Girl 2: Yeah, they think their hill, is like, like the whole world...

More Broken Children...

The oldest bought a skateboard on Monday, and broke the wrist on Wednesday.

My signing: "Told ya so"

Sunday, April 03, 2005

A Weekend With Friends...

The wife and friends seem to have had a very nice weekend together, even counting the short sleep and extra work that came up for me causing some wrinkles.

The ladies show up at about 8am with a big surprise. After which, everyone sleeps. Later that night, the ladies decide to hit a dive bar and they run into guys with sweatshirts like "I Love Soccer Moms" and patchy hair styles (as in, hair in patches - frequent phrase: "Shave it Dude") and lots of fun hand signals. All of this followed by drunken whispering which only woke up the people in the 3 houses on either side of us.

Sleep to noon to catch up for Friday. I had to work, so the ladies were kinda bummed that they couldn't take off on their forays until about 4:30pm. They went shopping, eating and finally caught up with me around 8pm. Later that night, we hit the same dive bar, but didn't have near the same amount of fun. So, heading home, we were in the door by midnight. The funny part here is that the ladies wanted pizza and no pizza joints were open down here. So, they made up for it by baking a cake including making their own frosting. This caused another late night, but the cake was good.

After having trouble finding coffee, everyone had time to chat. The ladies leave today and signs of missing each other are already starting. Wish they could stay longer, but we'll have to settle for a safe trip home.

Thanks for making the trip girls!!! Wife has enjoyed it, and it definitely was something that came at the right time as she needed the break from the routine I think. So, until next time - take care and we'll be thinking of you often!!!

About time (I updated the more about later)...

I was recently told that I hadn't updated the more about later section regarding Easter. Dad and Step-Mom came in and had a good time. Relatives came over and enjoyed the wife's cooking and all of it gave me a good excuse to watch basketball which wouldn't normally happen.

So, some of the high points:

My younger cousin has both been volunteered and volunteered himself to watch the kids - overnight no less. Now the kids want to know if he'll be watching them all summer...

Wife showed off how great a cook she is.

Big Ten teams did well in the tourney.

None of the typical "family day" happenings - everyone got along and seemed to have a good time.

The folks left way too early the next day. I also realize just how poorly I do at 5 am wakeup calls.

Friday, April 01, 2005

April Fool's Day...

So, I finally got one over on my wife. Typically, April 1 is a day in which I live totally in dread for how my wife will treat me as she tortures her family ruthlessly. This year however, with a little help from her friends, I finally got the better of her. Some of her best friends decided about 3 months ago to make a road trip for this weekend. Now granted, all I did was give directions and keep a secret, but the surprise was well worth it and she seems to have forgotten all about torturing us.

So, some of the pranks:

Susan got me by cutting out a photo of a model and putting it on my work badge.

I got the youngest by pointing out bedroom light was on when it wasn't. However, the funny part was when he wasn't going fast enough and I started telling him to hustle and he replied "I'm hustling my bustl..." and fell on it instead.

The other two have been trying to pull various pranks with varying success. Youngest daughter tried convincing us that her teacher was leaving to teach another class and the oldest was on similar stuff.

I can't wait until tomorrow...