I found my new TV...

I found my new TV:



It has everything. Remote control, HD, PIP, everything...



Including easy access to the beer.

Tip of the day

There is a reason Mr. Atkin advised against drinking alcohol while on his diet. And it had nothing to do with the whole metabolism thing or how the carbs could make you fat. It was the fact that a damn celery stick will NOT do any of that wonderful soaking up of alcohol that a potato chip or cracker loaded with spinach dip will. I now have a great respect for Taco Bell.

Um - could you repeat that?

With all the goings on at the homestead, you'd expect some missed time from school. I mean, we've broken one child, and then, to add insult to injury, the kid was bugged (lice) - literally. Obviously, this one is going to miss time from school...So, why did the other two come home early today?

The youngest was complaining of a headache (which didn't affect the after school activities) and the oldest had a sore throat - nothing antibiotics won't cure. I think my wife is looking forward to work so she can get some rest...

Edit...

In the car today, enjoying some family time with the kids being kids. Since the oldest has become a teenager however, there has been some extra verbal freedom going on, but today, I couldn't take it.

Me: Please, stop making mean comments. I know you are trying to be funny, but today it is just annoying.
Oldest: Okay. Sorry Dad.

(Five minutes later)

Oldest: (talking to the youngest) ...and then, they eat your brains and it's just plain nasty because...
Me: Hey!!! Edit. That's one.
Oldest: Sorry Dad. Anyways, it is just plain nasty because...
Me: HEY!!! EDIT!!! That's two. Don't let me get to three...
Oldest: Sorry Dad. So, like I was saying, it is just plain nasty because it's all gray and gooey...
Me: HEY!!! That's...
Oldest: (with deer in the headlights look says sweetly) Edit?

Welcome to the teenage years...

More Dining Conversations...

During dinner (isn't it always?), the broken child keeps annoyingly repeating the same thing. After a couple minutes of this, the following occurs...

Mom: That's it. You need to stop, or I'm going to get your Dad's power stapler and staple your lips together...KA-CHUNK!!!

*crickets*

Me: (with tears still streaming from the silent laughter created by such an outrageous comment) Umm. Ka-Chunk? Where did that come from?

I like being home...

What fresh hell is this?

Wow, I was so excited!!!! I had this week off of work. My boss took the week off so I thought, what the heck, I will too. My mom came into town, I thought I'd organize the garage which no car can park in, catch up on some things etc.... Let's just start with, as you know, the middle kid breaking her hand. This happened Sunday and of course the ER doc couldn't see the break so sent us on our way without so much as a bandaid. We get the call from the radiologist at 9:30pm that night stating her hand was broken and to come back tomorrow for a spint, and they say NO she can't go to school. I love my kids very very much, but there goes one of my scheduled days off I had planned to shop leisurely with my mom, have lunch, maybe tea. Of course we can't get into the Orthopaedic people until 4:45pm on Monday. Day shot to hell, running into Atlanta, fighting rush hour traffic etc.....Oh well, I really am not complaining (yet), it's one of those things. No big. Really. Until today when I wake up, stretch, and contemplate, ok, house guests gone (check), kids going to school (check), Ok, I plan my day, I think I will go to the gym, figure out what to have for dinner, maybe go to the garden nursey. Sounds great until you wake broken child up and she complains of massive itching at the back of her head. Yup, you guessed it.....raging case of head lice! EXPLITIVE EXPLITIVE EXPLITIVE!!!!! Was I a bad person in my past life, or hell, last week? Damn, I give up, I am never going to ask for leisure time off of work again. As you all know, the last time I did this the son (yes he had the shots) had chicken pox. I am cursed. All of this and of course the hubby is out of town. I really need a large (or multiple) drink(s), except I started a stupid diet yesterday. So, if you come across a flabby, drunk, itchy person running up and down the store isle looking for the Rid, just get out of my way or I will rub my head on you!!!

The Broken Brat

The middle child is at it again...

Screwing around in the house, spinning around for fun and instead of falling on face, tries to use the hand...First diagnosis - severe sprain. Comes home, hopping and jumping around about "I've got a free pass, free paaaasss, free paaaaasss. No PE for ME...". Mind you, jumping - hard core. So, I wrote the note to the PE teacher to let the child run sprints all class. Then the child has the audacity to try to get out of chores - can't do dishes or clear table - it might get more hurt. The plays for sympathy and laziness were all around...

Unfortunately, the ER called back after hours. Radiologist has looked at the X-Ray and determined there is breakage. The brat broke the hand. The right (or write) hand. Free pass - check. Chores lessened - check. Someone to write for the child...umm, still working on it. Radiologist stated it was imperative the child return to be splinted - in the morning. Think we'll use the frequent flyer miles with the orthopaedic doc. Dang kid. I'm so mad I might break the other arm.

Middle child syndrom stinks.

Show me the love...

One of my kids had a friend over, causing the following explanation:

Me: Why were you arguing?
Kid: Because he was annoying me...
Me: Next time, just kiss him...
Kid: I did, but then he went to kiss me back, and so I tried to lick him. Then, he said he was going to french kiss me, so I hit him...

Sometimes, I miss being a kid...

Another Day in the Life...

Life has been a little stressful of late - long work hours, less time at home (even working in town); just very crazy. Then, just as things look up, it appears some changes come along which then resets everything and makes me think I'll be working even longer hours with even less time at home. Anyway, I wanted to get a note out to let everyone know that we are thinking about them and look forward to hearing from people even if we've been quiet...

On that note, my mother in law comes in to town next weekend. The wife and kids are ecstatic. If it weren't for the marriage license rule stating I can't like my in-laws, I'd be ecstatic too. Seriously, those of you who know my mother-in-law know that she is a fun person to be around - and even though she spits in every house we buy/rent (long story), she's always welcome because it is always so much fun. After next weekend, there should be a story or two to tell...I mean, this is after all the woman who watered our TV set once upon a time...