Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Clearing thy name...

Not sure which post got this goose's gander, but here goes...

Dear sir or madam,
After reading your "blog," I feel the need to clear my name and
clarify something to you regarding the myself being to blame for
your son's focus on heinous bodily functions. Throughout the
centuries, man has flatulated and defecated. Since the dawn of
time, young male offspring have been infatuated with these bodily
functions. We see proof of this in the annals of history: The
Venus de Milo lost her arms after repeatedly smacking her children
in the head for "potty talk". Bethoven was not born deaf, but lost
his hearing after his mother smacked him in the head just a trifle
too hard. So you see, as long as there have been children to be
infatuated with farting and pooping, there have been mothers to
smack them.

In conclusion, your son is completely normal, at least in this
instance. And, I, therefore have nothing to do with this
infatuation of his on bodily functions. I eagerly await an apology,
and perhaps a gift certificate to Damon's STeak house - they have
those delicious little spring rolls. WHy so they call them spring
rolls? There are no springs in them at all, hmm.

Scott Michael Gray

Next time Mr. Esquire, you might just want to use the comment section - I'll still make a point of picking on you but at least I won't have to cut/paste the email...


KellBell said...

And don't put it in red font!! It makes me go cross-eyed trying to read it with the green background!

darprice said...

blah blah blah. Hopefully this is better

KellBell said...

Much better, thank you!