Unless you attempt to take our Christmas tree. To the unnamed lady who had the audacity to pick up our tree while we were looking for another one...I truly am sorry.
Ahh, but let me bring the rest of you up to speed. Today, we went shopping for our Christmas tree. Every year, we do a real tree and since we've been in the south, we've discovered you can only keep a tree in some semblance of life for just about 4 weeks. Also, southern trees are not the same as their northern brethren, so we always get a fir tree since it helps remind us of home and the holidays. Now, because we went home for Turkey Day, we only have 3 weeks left and others who also shop for Christmas trees have already been picking through them.
Unfortunately for everyone, my wife has trouble being satisfied with Christmas trees. Last year, we found what our entire family (including the wife) thought to be the perfect tree. However, the wife thought there might be an "even more perfect" tree hidden somewhere else. While searching for this ideal tree, another family came along and picked up our perfect tree. Irritated, we ended up having to extend our search and head home slightly less satisfied and highly annoyed to start the holiday season.
This year, we were lucky enough to find a beatiful tree early on. When my wife decided to continue searching for the "even more perfect" tree, our family reminded her of the lesson from last year. Completely ignoring us, she forced us all to continue the search. Upon deciding that we had found the perfect tree already, we head back to make our purchase only to see another wife and mother holding our tree up for her family's approval. The audacity of other Christmas tree shoppers. How could she not realize that this perfect tree was reserved for us? Fortunately for us, upon hearing our entire family groan as we begin reliving last year's nightmare, and my wife shouting "our Christmas tree!", the offending lady jumped, threw the tree and ran away.
After many more apologies from myself, I was finally able to explain the situation, we were able to get our tree and hopefully retain peace in the world for the season. I'm not sure however that any of this did anything to lesson the numerous therapy sessions it will take to allow that wonderfully kind lady to be able to shop for a real Christmas tree again. So, what does the wife do after we secure our tree? Yep, you guessed it, she went searching for the "even more perfect" tree again. At this point, I told the children to tackle her and drag her out of the area bodily.
Hmmm, so we've created another fake tree person and one less competitor for our future searches. We also taught the children a most appropriate time to wrestle with your parents. Isn't that a great holiday lesson for the kids?