The youngest daughter is commonly known as our frat girl. This is because of her tendency to belch and fart pretty much whenever the need arises (usually half way through dinner). So, we tend to have a very similar talk nightly addressing the issue. Tonight's went like this, and needless to say did not have the intended impact:
Daughter: (machine gun sounds with her behind)
All: (Looking at her horrified)
Daughter: (Belches a 7.2 on the richter)
All: (again with the horror)
Me: Um, again, and I want to remind you I say this nightly, but if you really feel the need to poop your pants and puke like that, please do so away (preferably far, far away) from the table
All: YOU SAID POOP AND PUKE!!!! TOO FUNNY!!!
Yeah, next time I think I might let the wife handle it. Well, at least the daughter is pretty...