Family Phone Torture...

Phone rings...

Me: Hello?
Sister's Oldest: Hi. Is your oldest there?
Me: Um, what do you want?
Sister's Oldest: Um, your oldest...
Me: For what?
Sister's Oldest: I want to ask a Pokemon question...
Me: Shoot then. I know all there is to know about Pokemon...
Sister's Oldest: OK. I have a question about Shaladon. I want to know whether I should invite it to a party...
Me: You want to invite Shaladon to a tea party? First, you realize that it isn't real, right? And you realize you are a little old to be throwing tea parties for fictional beings? Seriously, why would you want Shaladon to come to a tea party? Do Shaladon's even like tea? I mean, really?

"click"

More food fun...

I guess yesterday was a blast for the wife and the oldest. See, the oldest was bored and the wife suggested making my favorite sweet (no, ice cream is not my only downfall - otherwise I wouldn't appear to be pregnant). Anyway, the child makes no bake cookies. Now, growing up, no bakes were my singular weakness. Unfortunately, with age, I've developed a nasty problem where I can't have beer, honey or nuts (including peanut butter - the biggest ingredient in no bakes).

So, I come out of the office on a break, and there are the no bakes. Immediately, I start slobbering thinking how I might be able to have just one (famous last words). I get agitated, and give the child grief. The kid's response? Yep, eat a no bake, right there, right in front of me.

Later that night, when the wife comes home from work, I'm giving her grief as well (for eating 6 no bakes in front of me). The best part, was the karma train. The oldest tries to stick up for the wife, but does so by swinging the remote. Said remote, hits the wife in the knee.

I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe. Man, I love that there karma train...

Ice Cream Rebuttal...

Ahem. I just want to point out that the "debacle" does not begin where the wife decided to begin it. Nor, can I state it ends where she ended it. This being said, here is the real story.

First, let us start the evening with a wonderful fatherly idea from the night before. I was in a bad mood, and determined that our family should go for good ice cream. On the way, every member of my family gained/lost/regained (and in some cases, re-lost) their ice cream. In the end, we all got the goods, but the two oldest were kinda touch and go for a while.

Tonight, the wife and oldest begin picking on me mercilously. This incited a bout of tickle torture, in which I won. At the end of this, is where the wife's story begins. She leaves out that the child was eating out of the carton. She leaves out that no one even thought of offering me any ice cream (as any respectable person would offer another). She leaves out that I rummage through the freezer, to find another suitable carton of ice cream to partake in, but the only readable part of the container is the top. The lid which states clearly the container is filled with cookies and cream, only to open it to plain vanilla. Now, vanilla is fine, but it is no cookies and cream. This leaves me with just chocolate yogurt...well, that, or stealing the sneaky neighbor child's ice cream. Knowing me as you all do, you know what I did...Of course I took the neighbor kid's. I mean, it isn't like that one lives here and can whine to me about it for more than a night. Alas, the wife did not allow that to stand up.

So, here I am back to the yogurt. And as I scoop out my yogurt, the oldest comes over begging for me to scoop. This wonderful, sweet child, who wouldn't even offer me any of the last tidbits. And this puts me into my ice cream rant. A rant so vile that it caused the wife to pee. And almost cost me a child who thought that eating nearly full container of yogurt from the carton would be a good idea...

Welcome to my life. This, is why ice cream is my favorite. It brings the family together - not always in a good way, but always, together.

Ice cream debacle

The husband LOVES ice cream! With that said, the kids and their friends wanted an evening snack of ice cream. I scoop out most of the remaining cookie dough ice cream and then give the remainder in the carton to the oldest(there was like 4 bites). Husband sees said ice cream container and bellows something about why doesn't he get any!?? GEEZ! Thus begins the rustling thru the freezer in which hubby then brings out, what he thinks, his next favorite, Oreo. That's when I had to drop the bomb on him that it really is plain vanilla ice cream with an Oreo lid I had mixed up. LMAO!! At this point there is a notable amount of steam rolling from his ears and me doubled over in laughter trying desperately not to pee myself. Poor baby had to suffer with stinkin frozen chocolate yogurt! Yum! I'm still giggling.

What goes around, comes around...

Me (To the oldest): So, why did you buy a "My Little Pony"?
Oldest: Because they're cute. And besides that, my friend likes to name them. He named one "SugarMagnificentPepperSprinkles"...and THAT is such a cool name. I hope he gives mine a cool name like that...

Um, yeah. Kinda like a circle. Give it another week or two and Monchi-chi, Monchi-chi's will make a blazing comeback too...