Sunday, January 22, 2006

Open Letter...

To the glorious people at Radiant Research, Inc.,

I realize some women suffer premenstrual symptoms that go beyond what can be effectively managed in regular ways. I know there can be severe mood swings and physical symptoms interferring with everyday life. I have experience with these issues first hand.

Yes, the week prior to menstruation, I suffer symptoms such as irritability, depression, anxiety, sleep problems, difficulty concentrating, angry outbursts and even physical problems such as bloating and these symptoms always disappear a few days afterwards, but somehow, I don't think I could be suffering from premenstrual dysphoric disorder.

So, while I'm glad there is a physician researching this very set of issues, I promise I cannot be a qualified participant. While the free physical exams, laboratory tests, "other" medical assessments and potential study "medicine or placebo" sound wonderful, I don't think they'll be necessary. I realize there is no guarantee for signing up, but I guarantee that this letter truly irritated me.

Why you ask - especially when I have so many of the symptoms of PMDD? Well, because I'm a 33 year old MALE you ninnies!!! I, like so many men before me and after me, suffer along with my wife these wonderful symptoms. I get severe mood swings due to my wife changing personalities. I get physical symptoms, because I don't duck fast enough and my wife beats the crap out of me. These things make me irritable and depressed. As all good husbands know, when your wife doesn't sleep, you don't sleep either, which then causes difficulty concentrating (especially when trying to avoid flying objects) and angry outbursts. Personally, I think the bloating tends to get caused due to the high level of sodium the family gets in our diet around this time, but it could be caused by so many of the other varying factors too. But in the end, I'm still a man and cannot be part of your study.

Hmm, come to think of it, if you were any good at your jobs, you'd already know I was male and not eligible, which now makes me think the doc may also be a quack since he probably spent less on getting you involved then he would on a pack of gum. Please, for future reference, don't contact me for anything - male or female related you ignoramous'.


Management (aka darprice)

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