Slow Learners...

Happy Easter!!!

Today, was a wonderful family day. The kids enjoyed the easter egg hunt. There was a new fun family game, the oldest found a model person (for drawing) and the two younger received their very first swiss army knives, all courtesy of the Easter Bunny.

Once during the day, the youngest cuts one hand with the new knife. Warrants a band-aid. Later, the middle keeps making messes with the scissors. But the best? Oh, the best was when the youngest (not learning from the band-aid) comes running in from whittling, blood spurting from the OTHER index finger...

Youngest: I NEED TO GO!!! MY FINGER, IT'S BLEEDING...

Now, if this was the first time something like this had happened, it probably would have been more interesting, but keep in mind, we do have three children. At this point, the wife starts compressing the child's hand, whilst I go to retrieve the offending knife. On my return, the middle child walks up to me after reviewing the carnage, hands me the other offending knife and walks away without a word. Maybe one learns a bit quicker than the rest...wait, that one kept using the scissors after being told not to...

Upon arriving at the ER, I find to my amazement that the staff doesn't remember us. They do pull us in back to confirm the need for stitches, where the wife is asked what happened. She says the child cut the hand. The nurse, looking incredulously at the wifes asks HOW. Um, with the Swiss Army knife received, oh, about 12 hours ago...The nurse laughs heartily, at least, until the youngest regales the nurse with our wonderful medical history. I immediately assume the position for when DFACS and the police arrive for our removal.

Later, one of the best conversations I think I've ever taken part of occurs, while the said finger is being sewn (and post codeine and other happy helpers):

Youngest: I don't feel anything. They could be removing my finger and I wouldn't know it...
Me: Nope. Don't worry about that until you hear the power tools.
Doctor: Dang. I'll have to redo that one.
Me: Yep, no worries on the finger being taken off, but the doctor is just about ready to sew the hand to your leg and then to sew your mouth shut. We paid extra for that...
Youngest: DAD...but seriously, I don't feel anything. They aren't taking it off, are they?
Doctor: Now, when we do get this all done, you'll have to wear a splint for a while...
Me: Yeah, that'll be neat. But, how will you be able to pick your nose?
Youngest: I've got another hand for that...
Doctor: Dang. That's another one I need to redo. Sir, I think I might have to ask you to leave...

When it was all done, the kid gets 4 measley stitches, all wrapped up with gauze on the offending hand, a splint and is walking out of the ER shouting:

Youngest: I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I've got a little band-aid on one hand, a big one on the other, but nothing on my thumb!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!!

Yep, that's my kid. Yippee. I do however have more appreciation for how stoned Codeine can make a kid. Happy Easter to all!!!