The wrong time to use big words...

Actual conversation:

Oldest: ...and now I'm so pissed...
Me: What?!?! (In head: I did not hear what I thought I just heard...) EXCUSE ME. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?
Oldest: Me? I just said that I'm so pissed...
Me: WHAT?!?!?!? Say that one more time...
Oldest: Say what? I'm PISSED. P-I-S-S-E-D. Pissed...
Me: (turning speaker phone on for the cell) Listen to this. Say that again.
Oldest: Say WHAT? I am PISSED.
Wife: You can't kill the kid through the phone...
Me: You may think you're pissed now child, but I'm going to show you the true meaning of that word when I get home...

Upon arriving home, the child, with sibling in tow, tries to convince us that the word said was not P-I-S-S-E-D, but rather was Pifft. Hmmm, somehow they don't even seem spelled the same...Let the beatings begin...

Mondays

Quote from the youngest this AM: "I HATE MONDAYS...I HATE MONDAYS!!! THE WEEK SHOULD BE SATURDAY-SUNDAY-SATURDAY-SUNDAY-SATURDAY-SUNDAY ....ALL THE WAY 'TIL THE 4th OF JULY!!!" I guess I won't tell him he's actually up an hour earlier today.

hoo hoo hee hee ha haaaa

The kids think it's funny when I sing this song.......if they only knew! Apparently I am ready to go back to work and/or the hubby has been on the road too long!!!


They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa
from: Dr. Demento's Delights Warner Bros. 1975 BS 2855 0698

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not toleave because I'd go berserk?? Well...You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaaTo the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll behappy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they'recoming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!
You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had saidthat loosing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed andlaughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad... And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basketweavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they'recoming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me backfor all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put youin the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And...

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happyto see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're comingto take me away, ha-haaa!!!To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basketweavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they'recoming to take me away, ha-haa!!!To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... (fade out)

My Names Ed

The son and neighbor boys have been having a great time playing in the creek out back since it's warmed up. Every night some poor creature is held captive in our mop bucket overnight in our garage, then set free the next day. Today the boys found an interesting crayfish with a third leg....hmmmm, maybe I should hose the boys off after playing in this creek, Oh well, they still only have two legs, we're safe, I think. Anyways, they proudly display the three legged creature to me and announce his name is Ed. Wondering what had inspired them to give this one the name of Ed, I asked........."you know mom......like special Ed, cuz he has three legs" He's his fathers son!!!

Favorite Sock

I am sure boys have just (ok, almost as much) as many hormones as girls. Yesterday confirmed that with my son. Lately he's been eating everything not nailed down and crankier than usual, thus I'm sure he's getting ready to have a growth spurt. Yesterday while snuggling on the couch watching Sponge Bob, the son and I started poking and tickling eachother. During the fun, I noticed his sock had a huge hole where the heel used to be. Thinking is would make him laugh, I grabbed the sock and ripped it the rest of the way. Now in my mind, I'm waiting for peels of laughter at mom's hilarity.....instead I got a deluge of tears! My first reaction was to giggle...once that started, I couldn't contain myself, furthering the deluge! He kept stating "you ripped my favorite sock!!!" "I worked so hard for that hole!" He was seriously ticked off at me. Excuse me while go check his dresser for any other favorite items I may not be aware of.