Make it quick

Driving children to various after school activities can easily drive a parent crazy. "Don't touch me!" "Quit singing!!" "Ewwwww, who farted?" Blah blah blah. I had had enough and promptly informed my kids of this, when my son continued torturing his sister.

Mom: "Now you get to go to bed 30 minutes early"
Son: "Why?"
Mom: "Because you are too far away for me to smack at this moment"

At this point I see my sons head out of the corner of my eye with this comment

Son: "Just please smack me, you can reach now"

I almost had to pull the car off the road I was laughing so hard. Not a great point to make to the kids. Humor will get you out of most things.

Who's Idea?

Who's idea was it to drink? Darn good idea. Drinking is the social lubricant of the world...Can I have some more?

Ahh, truer words may never have been spoken nor a better question asked...

Mother, May I?

Ahhh, holidays are good. Time to spend talking with relatives that you like and that you put up with...

Actually, we're pretty lucky in that we get along very well with all members of both sides of our families, so going home for turkey day wasn't that big of a problem beyond the logistics. Here is a sample of why we like it so much:

Mother-In-Law: Well, we need to get the papers signed for my will and living will and that stuff...
Me: Well, that's a perfect way to bring the party down. "So, in case I end up like the turkey, here's what I want you to do..."
Mother-In-Law:
Me: I have a question...If for some reason you're incapacitated, can I...
Wife: No, you can't flip the switch on her...
Mother-In-Law: (appalled look on face)
Me: No, here's what I wanted...I always wanted to play ER. Do you think, and I mean, I supposed it would work even after she's dead, they'd let me play with the paddles? "We're losing her, clear.... (rubbing paddles) Clear...". I mean, that would just be so much fun...

At this point, I think I was excused from the rest of the conversations which allowed me to just drink without needing to communicate...good times...

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!

I hope everyone enjoys the food AND the company!!! Us, we're heading North for this holiday as we haven't spent any time with parts of the wife's family since we moved years ago. So, we're long overdue and are looking to correct that. In the meantime, I leave you with each of my children's wishes from kindergarten and first grade projects forever:

gobl gobl gobl.

P.S. - If anyone has some leftover cheesy taters they'd like to send my way, let me know and I'll see about pickup...

(only 32 more shopping days till Christmas...still need a list from me?)

He's the prettiest!

This is a clarification to my hubbies post on Nov. 11th. Here how it really went!!! He pays a bill way wrong, calls me to report the situation and then proceeds to leave town for the next week to hunt down Bambi, see kin, scratch (secondary to lack of bathing I'm sure), fart, and drink excessively. So.......here I am trying to get one kid to gymnastics and pick another one up from orchestra, and make it to the pediatricians office to intercept a very large check for a very small co-pay! After many trips to and from the bank and pediatricians office (I love office politics) starting on Monday, I finally cleared it all up by Friday. All this while doing my usual mom stuff and working. He owes me big!!! However, I won't give him too much crap on this, simply because I really don't want the bill paying job back! I guess we are all human, just be careful with those zeros when paying bills on-line.