Teachers let the fools out!!

Schools out, schools out, teachers let the fools out!!! Friday was the last day of school here in Georgia, thus begins summer vacation. I, for one, am ready for it. No more dragging children out of bed at 6am. Or bribing them with toaster strudels. Or turning on the lights and running for cover! Yeah!! I love summer! It has been fabulous down here weather wise, that is unless you want to water something. Strangely enough, the smoke from 250 miles away from forest fires has reached us several times now causing all folks with asthma to have to limit outside time. But, I am so ready for summer. What I will miss the LEAST is making 3 lunches everyday. I have no creativity left in me. I had gotten to the point of sending cereal in their lunches. What I will miss MOST is Mondays and Fridays to myself for running and what not. But it's not so bad, now we get to go hang out at the pool, Six Flags, White Water, or nothing at all. I am most looking forward to our family trip to the outter banks of North Carolina to a rented beach house with my sis-in-law and family. Yes, summer is a good thing!!!

Statement

Nothing makes a statement like the woman recently sitting at the counter at our local Waffle House. Sitting there drinking coffee, pouring over paper work, sitting on the counter was a pepper spray canister next to a rather large bottle of Midol! Got the message!!! The funny part was my husband trying to get my tipsy behind to shut up about it. Apparently when people drink they tend to talk loud and think they are whispering.

I BELIEVE

I BELIEVE.......red wine can help make the crappiest day better!

I BELIEVE.......red wine can make a dinner of beans and weiners taste like a five course delicatessen delight!

I BELIEVE.........red wine glasses were made so large to be filled to the tippy top!

I BELIEVE.......that is still only counts as one glass


I BELIEVE.......my glass is almost empty and needs to be refilled!!

Slow Learners...

Happy Easter!!!

Today, was a wonderful family day. The kids enjoyed the easter egg hunt. There was a new fun family game, the oldest found a model person (for drawing) and the two younger received their very first swiss army knives, all courtesy of the Easter Bunny.

Once during the day, the youngest cuts one hand with the new knife. Warrants a band-aid. Later, the middle keeps making messes with the scissors. But the best? Oh, the best was when the youngest (not learning from the band-aid) comes running in from whittling, blood spurting from the OTHER index finger...

Youngest: I NEED TO GO!!! MY FINGER, IT'S BLEEDING...

Now, if this was the first time something like this had happened, it probably would have been more interesting, but keep in mind, we do have three children. At this point, the wife starts compressing the child's hand, whilst I go to retrieve the offending knife. On my return, the middle child walks up to me after reviewing the carnage, hands me the other offending knife and walks away without a word. Maybe one learns a bit quicker than the rest...wait, that one kept using the scissors after being told not to...

Upon arriving at the ER, I find to my amazement that the staff doesn't remember us. They do pull us in back to confirm the need for stitches, where the wife is asked what happened. She says the child cut the hand. The nurse, looking incredulously at the wifes asks HOW. Um, with the Swiss Army knife received, oh, about 12 hours ago...The nurse laughs heartily, at least, until the youngest regales the nurse with our wonderful medical history. I immediately assume the position for when DFACS and the police arrive for our removal.

Later, one of the best conversations I think I've ever taken part of occurs, while the said finger is being sewn (and post codeine and other happy helpers):

Youngest: I don't feel anything. They could be removing my finger and I wouldn't know it...
Me: Nope. Don't worry about that until you hear the power tools.
Doctor: Dang. I'll have to redo that one.
Me: Yep, no worries on the finger being taken off, but the doctor is just about ready to sew the hand to your leg and then to sew your mouth shut. We paid extra for that...
Youngest: DAD...but seriously, I don't feel anything. They aren't taking it off, are they?
Doctor: Now, when we do get this all done, you'll have to wear a splint for a while...
Me: Yeah, that'll be neat. But, how will you be able to pick your nose?
Youngest: I've got another hand for that...
Doctor: Dang. That's another one I need to redo. Sir, I think I might have to ask you to leave...

When it was all done, the kid gets 4 measley stitches, all wrapped up with gauze on the offending hand, a splint and is walking out of the ER shouting:

Youngest: I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I've got a little band-aid on one hand, a big one on the other, but nothing on my thumb!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!! I'M NUMBER 1!!!

Yep, that's my kid. Yippee. I do however have more appreciation for how stoned Codeine can make a kid. Happy Easter to all!!!

Fatter than Mike Rowe...

Mike Rowe is the host of "Dirty Jobs". There was a recent episode, where dear old Mike cleans out a steam ship. It is a very tight space, and since the wife is VERY claustrophobic, she made her concerns for Mike clearly known, leading to the following conversation:

Youngest: Don't worry Mom. You'd never fit.
Mom: What? What exactly are you saying?
Youngest: That you wouldn't fit. What?
Mom: Are you saying I'm fat?
Youngest: Well, at least fatter than Mike Rowe...

So, that is the new Mantra - "Fatter than Mike Rowe". Hmm, I wonder what that makes me fatter than? Maybe a Baby Beluga?