It takes all kinds...

My wife is turning 33 this month. As an early birthday gift, I took her to see one of her favorite bands - Aerosmith. Well, let me rephrase - I took her so she could drool over one of her favorite celebrities - Steven Tyler. (Honestly, I've never gotten the infatuation, but since I adore Liv, I suppose I can let this slide...)

Anywho, we went to the concert and had a great time. And while I love Aerosmith's music, I must say that the crowd around us may have been more entertaining by far. First, there was the guy in the row immediately behind us who for some strange reason, every time he moved to the beat of either a mellow Lenny Kravitz song or a raucous chorus of one of the Aerosmith tunes, would rock back and forth spasmodically while rubbing the left side of his chest. It gets even funnier when the girl he was with (as shown by her sitting irritatedly in her chair and plether pants while holding his hand), refused to acknowledge anything around her.

Next special group, were a couple in the row immediately in front of us, neither of which had rhythm. They reminded me nothing so much as today's yuppie crowd, who would have fit nicely in with the peace/love/rock'n'roll crowd of the 60's. I'm thinking they must have been hopped on drugs as well since that (and Aerosmith) would be about all to connect the two very disparate groups of people I could see them melding with.

The last was a couple immediately in front of us. For the life of me, I still can't figure out what they were doing at the concert. They both were attempting to take naps on each other during the whole thing. I mean, why pay money to go to a public place for a nap? And if you're going to do it anyway, why not just pay the cover charge at a bar and get smoke too?

Anyway, these were the groups I found most interesting. In the meantime, Lenny, Steven (and now apparently Joe Perry) kept the wife drooling. Couple all of this with amazing music and a great show, and we obviously had a good time. So, happy early birthday baby - and ROCK ON!!!

Here's wishing a happy birthday to the oldest...

The oldest turns a defining age today: 13

Yes, we now have a teenager in the house. To celebrate, we took the child and a few friends (both boys and girls) out to dinner. To give an example of the conversation, I decided to take notes on the topics. I might have missed a few, but this is a fairly accurate sampling:

-Birds and the Bees (or, what every parent of a new teen wants to discuss with their kids and their friends)
Kid 1: Oooh, I remember having the conversation about the birds and the bees...
Kid 2: Huh. I didn't get a stinking birds and bees conversation, my parents were much more blunt on the subject...

-Burning to a crisp (I couldn't even begin to understand how the segway worked here)
Kid 1: You'd burn to a crisp, at least when Mercury and Venus vaporize...
Kid 2: Yeah, but you wouldn't want to be in a cold bath when it happens, because, then, the water would boil and just burn you worse...

-Nuclear Weapons Ummm, cause it's kinda similar to burning for environmental reasons?

-Ferrets Because one of the kids just got one...
Kid: And my ferret has a magnet in his head. Either that, or he's just dumb. He keeps banging his head on his cage... (kinda like I started doing on the table probably...)

-Screetching chalkboards Because this is important to every student

-Jumping out of playschool windows This is just a natural transition folks...

-Hw to hurt each other Yep, their friends (maybe even BFF)

Fashion Designers From one of the boys. This boy already has a very strong sense of self and masculinity. But again, I never could figure out how this transition in conversation happened.

So, by the end of dinner, I knew it to be official that I had a teenager in the house by the fact that I no longer understood the conversation changes, let alone content. It really is going to stink with all of us being this confused all the time...

The Dishwasher...

Mom: We get the new dishwasher today...
Youngest: Cool!!!
Mom: Yeah, wouldn't be cool if we got one that not only cleaned the dishes, but also put them away?
Youngest: Yeah!!! Do they make those?
Mom: Nope, that's why we had you...

Nothing like breaking it to 'em gently dear...

Okay, that was weird...

The oldest is approaching the teen years rapidly. Also, is very interested in computers and the like...but even so, I was entirely surprised when I was asked to explain my job...in detail; then even more shocked that I was listened to actively and attentively. There just might be a computer programmer following in my footsteps someday. Maybe it's time to start paying more attention to what I do and actually working at becoming something like accomplished.

Naw, that'd be too much work.

Gamers...

You know you are getting old as a gamer when your youngest child challenges you to a new game, you play and get beat. You then tell yourself that it was because you were taking it easy, so don't feel too bad (even though the little snot-bucket is rubbing it in...). You play a rematch, with the skill levels more or less even, and proceed to get KILLED...AGAIN - only WORSE.

Yep, time to think about hanging it up...that, or do what I did, which is basically play all day to get familiar with the game so the next time you play, you win decisively and send the snot-bucket snivelling back to their mother...or, um, something like that.

I wouldn't know, since this entire post is, uh, you know, hypothetical and all.

Now, stop your whining and let's play again...