It's not you, it's me...

It has been abismally long since my last post. I feel as if I should beg forgiveness, list all the reasons and pray you don't hold it against me. Instead, I'm going to jump into another story, so, without further adieu...

Last weekend we met my sister and her family in Lexington, KY for a quick gathering. As most people know, our kids are similar in age, and after having spent the majority of their lives less than a block apart, are as close as siblings. As a result, we still try to get the kids together a couple times a year even though we've moved 1,000 miles away. Anyway, this was one of those times.

First night, kids went swimming. Next day, the wives get the bright idea of going ice skating. Probably not the brightest idea, but things were looking OK until near the end. My twice surgically repaired knee was holding up. None of the kids managed to fall so bad they split their head open and everyone was having a good time. Then IT happened. Yep - there was my sister, out on the ice, pretending to be Nancy Kerrigan and IT JUST HAPPENED. She lined up for the triple toe loop and the rest is just a blur. End result: One dislocated knee, three attempt to talk her out of suing, many pain meds, alcoholic drinks and a ton of new jokes to liberally apply for the next several years - and still she didn't want to go to the hospital.

"I'll be fine", "It's just a knee". We let her stew for a couple hours, because I know I wouldn't have wanted to go the the ER in a strange state, but she wouldn't see reason - until morning. She looked very constipated as she spoke the words sparking more meaningless jokes: "I need to go to the ER. Not because my knee really needs to be immobilized or because I'm screaming in pain as I try to walk, but because, I, uh, just need a note for work while I'M SITTING DOWN." Yep, that is her story and we're letting her stick to it.

So, while I give her high marks for the effort, the judges were forced to disqualify her for not completing her short program. Someday we'll find Tonya and Gillooly with the lead pipe in the conservatory, but alas, my sister's ice skating career has come to a close...