I found my new TV...

I found my new TV:



It has everything. Remote control, HD, PIP, everything...



Including easy access to the beer.

Tip of the day

There is a reason Mr. Atkin advised against drinking alcohol while on his diet. And it had nothing to do with the whole metabolism thing or how the carbs could make you fat. It was the fact that a damn celery stick will NOT do any of that wonderful soaking up of alcohol that a potato chip or cracker loaded with spinach dip will. I now have a great respect for Taco Bell.

Um - could you repeat that?

With all the goings on at the homestead, you'd expect some missed time from school. I mean, we've broken one child, and then, to add insult to injury, the kid was bugged (lice) - literally. Obviously, this one is going to miss time from school...So, why did the other two come home early today?

The youngest was complaining of a headache (which didn't affect the after school activities) and the oldest had a sore throat - nothing antibiotics won't cure. I think my wife is looking forward to work so she can get some rest...

Edit...

In the car today, enjoying some family time with the kids being kids. Since the oldest has become a teenager however, there has been some extra verbal freedom going on, but today, I couldn't take it.

Me: Please, stop making mean comments. I know you are trying to be funny, but today it is just annoying.
Oldest: Okay. Sorry Dad.

(Five minutes later)

Oldest: (talking to the youngest) ...and then, they eat your brains and it's just plain nasty because...
Me: Hey!!! Edit. That's one.
Oldest: Sorry Dad. Anyways, it is just plain nasty because...
Me: HEY!!! EDIT!!! That's two. Don't let me get to three...
Oldest: Sorry Dad. So, like I was saying, it is just plain nasty because it's all gray and gooey...
Me: HEY!!! That's...
Oldest: (with deer in the headlights look says sweetly) Edit?

Welcome to the teenage years...

More Dining Conversations...

During dinner (isn't it always?), the broken child keeps annoyingly repeating the same thing. After a couple minutes of this, the following occurs...

Mom: That's it. You need to stop, or I'm going to get your Dad's power stapler and staple your lips together...KA-CHUNK!!!

*crickets*

Me: (with tears still streaming from the silent laughter created by such an outrageous comment) Umm. Ka-Chunk? Where did that come from?

I like being home...